Remember how I previously said I'd never written a review before? Well, it SUDDENLY occurred to me that I'd never really read a formal review, either. D'oh! What am I doing here? Clearly I do not belong. I did some looking, though, and found a helpful guide in RT Book Reviews (Hallelujah, I just learned how to link!)
It explains what constitutes 1- to 5-star ratings. It goes as follows:
4 1/2 Gold: Phenomenal. In a class by itself.
4 1/2: Fantastic. A keeper.
4: Compelling. A page-turner.
3: Enjoyable. A pleasant read.
2: Problematic. May struggle to finish.
1: Severely Flawed. Pass on this one.
Why isn't there a 5? Hmmm.
They also have a "Sensuality Rating," appropriately so. Excuse me while I channel George Takei: Oh myyy (By the way, follow him on facebook. His posts are hilarious.) Books will be rated on their steam factor like this:
SCORCHER -- Borders on erotic. Very graphic sex.
HOT -- Most romance novels fall into this category. Ranges from conventional lovemaking to explicit sex.
MILD -- May or may not include lovemaking. No explicit sex.
This shall be my Northern star, pending a strike of originality.
*gets sidetracked by Sheldon Cooper on TV in a French maid costume*
Oh, yeah! Structure. I need structure. What's the format for reviews? What do I say? Obviously I can't put spoilers, right? How long should it be? Heck, I don't know. But I do know that I will try my darnest to be honest, come what may (she believes, and that faith is something I've never known before - Air Supply, anyone? Nevermind.)
Let's wing it.
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